Sex-positivity can be used as a bludgeon by which to silence criticism of anything sex-related.

In other words, I’m exclusively dealing with sex-positivity as it exists, not as we hope it exists.

I intend to reflect lived realities, not to straw-man sex-positivity.

The attitude that we cannot ever judge anyone for consensual sex acts (or even judge the acts themselves outside of the individuals participating in them) has become the de facto one among the sex-positive types I’ve met, read, and otherwise encountered.

Among the many other labels that I occasionally affix upon my person is “slut” (only in contexts where the word is recognized for its reclaimed value).

I believe in full reproductive rights and agency, comprehensive sex ed, the valuing of sex for pleasure, the destigmatization and full legalization of all forms of sex work, and the end of STI-shaming.

So you’d think that I’d be against the notion of sex-negativity in feminism.

Sex-positivity a good thing for people like me, right?

I find the notion that all sex is awesome as long as there was consent to be more than a little troubling. We live in a society that pathologizes mere sexual attraction when it falls outside a very narrow set of norms (let alone acting on those attractions) as well as de-prioritizes consent.

Not being judgmental about anything and emphasizing consent appears to be a great counter to all that — and it can be.