Perhaps all that’s needed is some education and correcting misperceptions about what this entails.And perhaps it goes much deeper than this, bringing out potential issues with internalized homophobia, masculinity, fear of surrendering and letting go or vulnerability and trust issues.The two of you can work together to address these matters and resolve them so they no longer pose as psychological blocks to your sexual intimacy.

Sexuality is a very important aspect of a relationship for many, and you’re going to definitely need to sit down together and communicate your needs and feelings.

Relationships are about compromise and exploring with each other the possibility of both of you switching sexual roles from time to time.

If you remain resistant to this, explore with each other what being a top means to you, as well as what your concerns are about bottoming and what that role means to you.

I often get letters from guys who are in the throes of dating relationships with men of the same sexual role preference (two tops, the ones doing the penetrating during sex, and two bottoms, the ones being penetrated) and find themselves experiencing frustration and conflict when their sexual fulfillment takes a hit and their needs are unmet.

This is a common scenario and can create strain in an otherwise perfectly compatible partnership when everything is aligned just right except the bedroom satisfaction element.

I often hear more from tops in this arrangement and it leads one to the question, “Can these types of relationships actually work in the long run?

” If you are in one of these relationships, or are contemplating one, here are some questions and tips to consider as you decide whether this coupling is something you want to take on.

The relationship will oftentimes become defined by this conflict and could potentially sabotage a good thing.

Your relationship is much more than just about sex, and you’ll want to redirect your energies into those areas that are your strengths and create more positivity and connectedness between you.

You’ll also want to clarify your values in terms of how much importance and primacy you place on the sexual aspect of your identity and needs.

Getting into a pursuer-distancer cycle will only serve to create more distance and anger.