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Quite often, a sexually explicit photo arrives out of the blue.At its worst, the weirdness escalates into a barrage of insults or threats, and in some cases, physical violence.It’s now almost practically expected: Online dating can turn very weird very quickly.
A gender-flipped play on the dismissive Internet-popular phrase "Bye Felicia," the account—like Tinder Nightmares and others—operates as a curated clearing house of screenshots showcasing the very worst of online dating weirdness, from sudden hostility to unwanted dick picks.
Shortly after its launch in October 2014, the account went viral and now boasts nearly half-a-million followers. "All of these other women are saying ‘Yeah, that happened to me too!
"Women are getting together in these online spaces and saying, ‘This fucked-up thing happened to me,’" says Tweten, recalling the private Facebook group for women in L. ’" Over the last three years, the use of Internet dating services has tripled among Americans aged 18-24, according to the Pew Research Center.
At least, as far as one can tell from Tinder: He was a coffee-loving "urban adventurer" from the Midwest and an entrepreneur who walked dogs on the side. So when Nathan (not his real name) matched with Alexandra Tweten, a 28-year-old woman living in Los Angeles, she was eager to start chatting. Enticed by the possibilities, she mulled over her next move. "Finally, I snapped and head-butted him in the face," he said. "You never know when someone is going to snap," he said.
In his free time, he could be found digging through all the right vinyl genres: indie rock, shoegaze, electronic, and new age. Perhaps they could go for a nighttime drive around Beverly Hills, or make cocktails and listen to records. " Unable to get a word in, Tweten winced at the angry, nonsensical barrage until the caller stopped. Attempting to explain himself, Nathan recounted a recent encounter with a stranger: A dog he was walking had allegedly bitten the man, a heated argument ensued, and it escalated quickly. So you can see why I’m pretty tense." He told Tweten that she had insulted him earlier and asked for an apology.
And refreshingly, he had date ideas that extended beyond the default meet-up at a bar. "I was trying to explain something and you cut me off! She hung up and dodged several more calls and texts before finally humoring him with a few minutes of her attention.
He apologized, explaining that he had meant to call somebody else. She brushed it off, joking that, for a moment, she thought he might have been "a crazy person." Apparently offended, he started berating her even more furiously.
Tweten did not apologize, but she did hang up, this time for good.
"This guy was unhinged," she says, still trying to make sense of their disturbing exchange.
"I’m relieved I hadn’t met up with him or told him identifying information about myself." As strange as her experience felt, Tweten realized after swapping stories with friends that it wasn't that unusual: For many women, oddly aggressive, sometimes threatening interactions with men are an all-too-familiar feature of Internet dating.
The misconduct comes in a range of forms: Sometimes, a conversation on OKCupid, Tinder, or another service starts off overly offensive or aggressive, or turns hostile when the woman doesn’t respond favorably or quickly enough.