One of the more surprising revelations of the hack was that most of the members were men. Over the past 35 years we've worked with hundreds of people whose lives have been disrupted by affairs.That experience tells us that men don't join "affair" sites because of sex; they do it because of fear.

They immediately blame the relationship or their partner rather than recognizing that it is their own inability to create connection that has caused them to feel dissatisfied."Mid-life crisis" is real: Over time, the pent-up feelings reach a tipping point.

And since men don't recognize the true root cause of the problem, they try to address only the symptom by seeking intimacy outside the relationship.

We were amused when we heard Jimmy Kimmel refer to "the girlfriend experience." Turns out he was saying that men wanted to be with a woman who treated them the way their wives did when they were still dating.

There isn't a light bulb that flashes to let a man know, "Hey, buddy, just because you're tired of sleeping with your wife doesn't mean that your marriage has lost its sizzle for good. "Being emotionally transparent -- especially when it comes to sharing your scariest feelings -- can open the gateway to safety and trust in your relationship.

Your partner will feel it's okay to share his or her feelings, too.

And then you get to use that connection to build something really great within the relationship -- rather than looking outside to a fantasy that will only perpetuate pain.

When you commit to building true intimacy, you can create an exciting, sexy new relationship with the partner you already have.

You can deepen your connection to the point that you'll want to court your partner all over again. Katie and Gay's free relationship e-newsletter, Hearts In Harmony, explores the challenges and glories of lasting love.

Based on the tools they've developed throughout their 30+ year marriage and taught to thousands, you'll learn powerful insights and practical techniques you can start using today -- whether you're in a relationship or eager to attract one.

you -- or someone you know -- need help, please call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of international resources.

The stolen database of 32 million people who used cheating website Ashley Madison has made its way to the Web. Just plug in a name or email address, and you’ll find out if someone who signed up for the service.